It's been a few days since I've written a "serious" post. Often I find myself composing a blog entry in my head before I actually sit down at the computer. There have been several things floating around lately.

I was surprised that Lincoln's birthday didn't make me sad. Maybe it was the fact that we didn't celebrate at home. Maybe it was the fact that we celebrated a few days early. I really thought it would bother me more that Keith wasn't there to celebrate with us. In all honesty, I didn't even think about the fact that he wasn't there when we celebrated. This leads me to the second topic.

Grief is so unpredictable. Things that I think should bother me - don't. Things that I never thought would bother me - do. It's crazy! I find that I am often hard on myself about this. It's also hard not to compare my grief journey to others who are traveling down the same path. I've been in touch with a few widows. Some are barely functioning. On the young widows website, many people talk about how they cry all the time or sleep all the time. I don't do either of those things. I know I shouldn't do this, but I find myself questioning my love for Keith. Does the fact that I'm not completely devastated mean that I didn't love him as much as some other widow loved her husband? The truth is that there are so many factors that come into play, and grief is different for everyone. My head knows this. Now if only my heart would catch on.