Update: For those of you who were wondering, I decided to take the new position. I'll post more about it once it is finalized.

Perspective

I know my last post was a joy to read. It's been my goal to keep things "real," which I why I post those not so fun moments. There is a piece of me that just wants to post the fun stuff, but I feel that I've been called to do more. At this point in my life, I crave authentic relationships where I can be truthful about where I am and what I'm going through.

As rough as the past few years have been, in some crazy way I feel like Keith's passing was a gift. I know that sounds weird. It taught me to appreicate life. It taught me what is truly important. It taught me to live in the moment. I wish there was some way to pass that on to you. Unfortunately, it kinda seems like you have to experience or closely witness someone experiencing a life altering time to learn those lessons. I write all of this to say, that even on my hard days, I'm able to find joy.

On a side note, I would appreciate your prayers. A job opportunity has opened up at my school. I've basically got the weekend to think it over. I'm thinking that it will be a good change, but I'm a little nervous about it because it's something new.

4 hours there + 4 hours back = lots of thinking time

I've been meaning to write a post about the two year mark for quite some time, but I've been avoiding it like the plague. While I wish that I could just wrap the past two years up and tie a neat little bow around it, it's just not that simple. This past weekend, I got together with my college friends. I got to spend some time with my favorite girls, and I also got to spend 8 hours alone in the car.

If I am honest about where I am today, I would say that I'm pretty discouraged. The past three years haven't been real fun. I've tried to do my best to have a good attitude. I've tried to make the best of things. Frankly, I'm worn out. It seems like everytime I manage to jump over a hurdle, another one is waiting. I've gone from having a sick husband, to burrying a husband, to learning to live without my best friend, to being a single parent, to having a really tough class this year. I realize that my challenges all hinge on one thing, which is Keith's death. I guess I just wonder when it's not going to be so hard.

There's a song by Natalie Grant that sums up how I feel these days.

Our Hope Endures

You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?

Or joy at a good man's wake?

Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked

With illness, oh how can she laugh?

Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone

And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

I realize this isn't the most uplifting post, but it's where I'm at these days. As hard as this is, I still have hope. I was reminded again of that hope at Easter. Regardless of whether or not things get easier here on earth, one day things will be great!

Happy Easter

Since it is probably going to rain tomorrow, we had our Easter egg hunt today. I had already told Lincoln that we were going to hunt eggs when I noticed that my camera's battery was almost dead. I managed to distract him with cartoons for 30 minutes. : )

Posing for mom.

I included a few "personality shots." It may appear that this boy is a calm little angel that sits patiently as his mom takes pictures. Just so you know, I took 103 pictures this morning. : )

He's looking pretty smug here. He wasn't listening to my directions at all.

Taking a break to climb a tree.

Catch me if you can!

We had a new adventure today. We went to pick strawberries. I wasn't sure how Lincoln would do. It turns out he is a fabulous strawberry picker! It was a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday morning, and now we have a sweet treat to enjoy!


The place is called "The King's Orchard." Lincoln kept asking when we were going to be at the palace.







Mmmmmm!