Lincoln and I drove up with my parents to Arkansas this past weekend. We got to visit with my dad's family. It was nice to get away. We also celebrated Lincoln's birthday there a little early. ( I will post pictures later.)

Though we were away, Keith was not far from my thoughts. My heart has been very heavy lately. It's so hard not to think about everything that transpired over the past year. I've told a few people that it feels like Keith is slipping further and further away. It's not that I feel like I'm forgetting him. I still remember him. Rather, it is our dreams and plans for future that are slipping through my fingertips.

Now I'm at a place where our dreams are no longer a reality. I'm not sure where to go from here. When I look at my life, it's hard to not be depressed. I went from being married, living in a great house, and getting to stay home to not being married anymore, moving back in with my parents, and going back to work. I look at all of this and I can't help but think that I'm taking a huge step backward. I know things could be much worse. I know I should be grateful for so many things. I'm just not there yet.