So, I kinda skipped over Valentine's Day. I wish I could have fast forwarded past it for a few reasons.

Reason #1-Valentine's Day Party or I guess the politically correct term is now "Friendship Party." I dread party days. The kids come to school super hyped up, and I hear the question, "When is the party?" about one million times. Though I try desperately to keep some semblance of a schedule, all those little minds can think about is the party. Truth be told, we should just have the party in the morning and then send everyone home. : )

The second reason is pretty obvious. It's hard to avoid thinking about where I'm at during a time when so many are focused on showing their love to one another. It is hard to be alone.

There are times when I am completely overwhelmed with all that is before me. There are times when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and say, "Enough! I'm tired of paying bills and doing laundry and going to the grocery store and cleaning. I'm tired of worrying about how to balance being a good mother and a good teacher. I'm tired of worrying about all the little things that come with raising children. I'm just so tired of doing all of this alone." I find myself wishing that I could just catch a glimpse into the future. If I only knew that things would be easier one day, maybe that would help me muster up the energy to keep going. Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to work like that.

Though I'm tired of being alone, the thought of starting over scares me. I was eating lunch with some of my coworkers a while back. Somehow we got on the topic of men. I told them that I don't really have any interest in dating. I would rather just skip all that. They suggested that I look into a "mail order groom." I guess that is one way to spend Keith's life insurance money. Ha! : )