Lincoln is beginning to discover the world of legos. Nana bought him a small set. He has played and played with that little vehicle. Last night I got down a bucket of Keith's legos. In the bucket were a few manuals for building spaceships. Lincoln eagerly picked out one he wanted to build. I tried to explain that we don't have all the pieces we need because this is just an assortment of lego sets. He informed me that he wished his dad was here to build him something. I assured him that his dad would be able to build a spaceship much cooler than what mom could do. We went on to discuss Keith and where he was. I asked Lincoln why dad is in heaven, and Lincoln said, "He wanted to live someplace else." (insert knife into heart)
I haven't written much about Lincoln's journey through grief. For the most part, he speaks very matter of factly about Keith being in heaven. I think part of that is due to the fact that this is all he has ever known. I think another part is due to the fact that he is still too young to get his mind around it all. It's times like the other night when I am grateful that Lincoln was so young when Keith died. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to work through your own grief while also trying to support your child through the process.
1 comment:
Stephanie, I hadn't stopped by your blog for a long time, but today I did. I can't remember if I ever shared here the situation in my own family, but my sister and brother-in-law died in a car accident many, many years ago, leaving their daughter orphaned at 9 months old. She had a wonderful childhood, raised by my brother-in-law's family (his brother and his family became her guardians), happy in every way. She also talked very matter-of-factly about their deaths from a very young age ("My mommy and daddy, S & D, died in a car accident, and I broke both my legs!" she would say skipping around the yard).
As she entered adulthood, though, she definitely went through(and is still going through at 24) the grief of losing them and not knowing them. I just wanted to share so that you can be aware (although you probably already are) that somewhere down the road, Lincoln might experience a grief of sorts over Keith, although his will most likely be over the memories that he doesn't have whereas yours are of both what you remember and what you are missing now. I don't mean AT ALL to sound like a grief-know-it-all -- God carries each of us through our own journeys, and everyone's is different. I think you are doing such a great job, relying on Him and doing your best to keep Keith's memory alive for Lincoln (both through the book of memories you made and through your being open to talking about him along the way).
May God continue to carry you and to be your strengh.
Post a Comment