Light at the End of the Tunnel

Tomorrow is the big day. I woke up this morning with a list of "things to do" running through my head, and one of them happens to be coming here. While this poor blog has been terribly neglected, I wanted to come here this morning and share what is on my heart. This blog has been a great source of healing for me through the past few years. It has allowed me an outlet to pour out my heart It has allowed me to come in contact with others who have experienced similar loss. Through your comments here, I have felt loved and cared for.

For many years, I prayed that God would give me a glimpse into the future. I just wanted to know that there was, in fact, light at the end of my tunnel. After all, a tunnel is a hard place to be. It's dark and a little scary. While you may be able to learn a little bit about the tunnel through studying beforehand, there are unexpected turns and twists along the way that you don't know about until you are there.

In many ways, that's where I feel like I've been the past few years. I've been traveling through a tunnel that I knew very little about. As I traveled through my tunnel, there were times when I felt really good. I knew that God loved me. I knew that He had the ability to bring good out of a very difficult time. There were other times when I didn't feel so good. The batteries in my flashlight died, and I got a little turned around. I wasn't sure which way led to the exit. With a new set of batteries, God enabled me to see again and get back on track. And then there were the times I would rather not talk about. I'm sad to say that there were times when I wanted to give up. There were times that I wanted to run in the opposite direction, but I soon realized that I could not do that. There was nothing left to go back to, and while I had the option of staying where I was, that really was not a good choice either. So, I chose to forge ahead. I chose to trust that God had a plan even though I could not see it.

 As I sit and type today, my eyes are filled with tears because I can see light. God has brought us a wonderful man. Dallas loves the Lord. He loves me, and he loves Lincoln. He is a hard worker and a man of his word. He cares for others and is generous with his time and money. He is supportive of our relationship with Keith's family. He is a great dad. Today I am grateful for the love and grace that God has shown me through my journey, and I am thankful for the light that he brought into our lives!