Often when Keith wakes up, his first question is "Am I dead?" It is so hard to see him like this. He is so ready to go home. Today he seemed more at peace. My prayer is that God will grant Keith's wish and take him home.
Though I admit that I'm not ready to lose him, I am so tired of seeing him suffer. I hate watching him get weaker by the day. I hate seeing him so drugged that he can't carry on a conversation. I hate so many things about all of this.
I already miss Keith, and he isn't even gone yet. Just the other night, something happened and I thought "I can't wait to tell Keith." I miss having meaningful conversations with him. I miss cuddling on the couch. I miss laughing with him. I even miss fighting with him-as crazy as that sounds. I just miss him a whole lot!
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6 comments:
Our hearts ache for you. Your strength is beyond what words can convey. We pray for peace for you and Keith.
Our love to you
Stephanie, you don't know me...I know Keith's parents...but PLEASE know you are being prayed for. I wish there were more we could do...I pray you will feel God's loving arms around you...especially in the hardest of times.
Stephanie, you are such an inspiration to me. Your sweetness and love pour out with every post. Know that there are many of us readers out there that are shedding tears along with you.
Stephanie, Hi, This is Tiffany Dixon (It may have been Anderson when we taught Kinder together, I've had two girls since then and my memory often fails me!) Since I don't teach anymore, Laura McAda sent me an email about you and Keith. I truly believe that God has a plan for us, from our birth, sometimes we may not understand his plan, but we have to trust it and know that one day it will make sense. I was at a 5 year olds funeral on Monday (it was my brothers nephew, he was in a freak accident and was hit and run over by a truck, it was terrible) BUT, the preacher made a wonderful point, he said that we can't bring him back, but we will see him again one day in heaven. I know that's hard to imagine, but it is so true. One day Lincoln will get to run and play with his daddy, and you and keith will be able to hug and laugh again, just remember that. I pray that God will guide you and Keith through the days ahead. My family is praying for you, Keith and Lincoln. Love you, Tiffany
Looking at yesterday's posting,
someone wrote that their memory for Lincoln was if ever you had a question about the Bible you go ask Keith. Well, at Rockvale Church of Christ, we go ask Don (Keith's Father). God bless you and keep you. May His peace surround you and the entire McCord family.
Stephanie,
Your strength and love for your family shines thru your pain. May God grant you all the peace to enjoy the last days and know that we are all praying, crying and hurting with you.
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