We survived today. It wasn't quite as bad as I thought it might be, but it wasn't easy either. I teared up several times as I was driving to Baylor. I don't think I will ever be able to drive that stretch of 30 without thinking of our numerous trips. As I was nearing the hospital, I turned onto Elm Street. Keith once told me that he remembered that turn because he linked it with Nightmare on Elm Street. That pretty much sums up our feelings. This whole ordeal has been a nightmare from which we can't awake.

The first person that we encountered was the woman that always drew Keith's blood. I think her name is Carol. Keith loved her. He said she was so good at taking blood that he barely felt it. He even told her that she needed to go around and train others. I was worried that she might not know of Keith's passing, but she did. I was able to tell her that she was special because she never made Keith hurt. We hugged and cried.

My next stop was Keith's oncologist and his staff. They were all glad to see me and Lincoln. I informed the oncologist's nurse that this would be our final visit. She said she understood. She gave me her card and told me to e-mail every once in a while and let them know how we're doing. I was touched by that. It is sad to say, but these people became a part of our life. I wouldn't go as far to say that they are family, but they played an integral role in our lives over the past two years. A few tears were shed with them as well. I was even able to speak with Keith's oncologist. I wasn't counting on that. He is always so busy. He showed the least emotion of anyone. My head understands that. He sees very sick people every single day. In a way you must find a way to shield yourself from other people's emotions, so that you can do your job. My heart had a harder time with his response. His daughter had a baby boy 2 months after Lincoln was born. It would be so easy for him to put himself in our shoes. Maybe that is another reason why he was so matter of fact. Who knows. It really doesn't matter.

The last stop was the infusion floor where Keith got chemo. This second time around we learned that you could request a nurse. Keith would request Pam. It was good to see her. You could tell that Keith's death shook her. She is such a sweet woman. She always took such good care of Keith. It was wonderful to be able to thank her for her care and concern.

I feel as if today provided me with a little closure. I was able to say thank you to the people who cared for Keith. Though I am so glad that Baylor was there for us and will still be there for others, I truly hope that I will never have to enter the doors of that hospital ever again.