Last night Lincoln was up for a total of 2 hours, and I was up for a total of 3 hours. I know there are lots of moms reading out there, so I am going to take some time to explain what I'm doing. Maybe you can provide some suggestions.
Let me preface all this by saying that I've read Baby Wise and The Baby Whisperer. Heck, I even looked at the book written by the Nanny 911 lady. I've tried to do what the books say. When Keith was sick, we often had guests. I didn't want them to have to listen to hours of crying, so I would do what I needed to do in order to get Lincoln back to sleep. After Keith died, I was so worn out with my thyroid issue that I just didn't have the energy to deal with Lincoln waking up, so I would bring him to bed with me. I admit that I am part of the problem. I admit that Lincoln is spoiled.
When it is time for Lincoln's nap or time for bed, I lay him down and leave the room. I let him cry for 10 minutes. If he is still crying, I go back in his room, lay him down (he is always standing up in the crib), and pat him for a minute or two. Regardless of whether he is asleep or not, I leave the room. If he starts crying again, I wait 15 min. and repeat the process above. He doesn't usually have trouble getting to sleep during naptime or bedtime.
Our trouble is in the middle of the night. When he wakes up, I do the same thing that I do to get him to sleep. For some reason, instead of taking 10-20 minutes, it takes 2 hours to get him back to sleep. During the times when I've been working on his sleep, he has done this night after night. The books say that the amount of time that it takes to get him back to sleep should lessen as the days go by. This has not been the case for us.
I'm not sure how many nights in a row I have worked on his sleeping, but I know that I have tried at least 14 nights in a row. There comes a time when I just can't do it anymore. Like I said before, I'm not the most patient person at night. When the time comes that throwing him out the window seems like a good option, I just bring him to bed with me.
The problem with him sleeping with me is that after a while, he stops sleeping. He starts spending most of the night squirming around and crying. Plus when he sleeps with me, I can't get out of bed without waking him up. I don't like to leave him in the bed alone because I'm afraid he will fall off the bed.
If you have any advice, feel free to e-mail me at ksmccord@geusnet.com.
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2 comments:
Stephanie,
I know exactly what you're going through with Lincoln not sleeping all night. My youngest son Kason began doing the same thing once his father and I got a divorce. He was three which I know may lead you to think that it must've been easier dealing with him considering he was older. But the problem is that at three, they're a lot more mobile which then makes it more dangerous. I would wake up to the sounds of doors closing and TV’s blaring. I would have a hard time falling asleep at night knowing that in a couple of hours he could possibly be running around (or outside) of the house. I can't imagine those books telling you that it takes 3-7 days to change the child's sleeping patterns because I'm here to tell you....If it were that easy, they wouldn't have to write books on it!! You just have to be consistent, even if it means cutting out some of his nap time during the day. This way, he’ll be exhausted by bedtime. Also, I realize that you are “letting” him cry for 10-15 minutes, but I’m here to tell you, that may not be enough. I know it sounds cruel but babies thrive on schedules (as you know). Once he wakes up, let him cry himself back to sleep. He knows already that all he has to do is cry for a while and momma will be in there shortly. It may take up to an hour (usually not though) for him to cry himself back to sleep. Do not let him even get a glimpse of you at all once he wakes up. This is pure confirmation to him that he’s getting what he wants and he’ll continue to do it for as long as “he” wants to. After several days of him waking up, crying 30-45 minutes, and not having you to console him, he will eventually “give it up”. I know no one enjoys letting their baby cry, especially in the middle of the night, but the only way to MAKE HIM change his habits is to stop comforting them. I hope and pray that this helps a bit. People say that being a mom is the hardest job on earth, well they’re wrong…Being a “single” mom is the hardest job on earth. I sympathize!
God bless,
Audra Richards
With all 3 of our kids we have had to let them cry them selves to sleep and then let them cry back to sleep if they wake up. It can be heart wrenching at 2 am, but it usually didn't take too long. i found that if I went in to comfort them it only made it worse. Occasionally our youngest (18 months) will wake up having lost her passy, but will either find it or go back to sleep with in 20 min. Good luck and we will be praying for an easy transition!
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