Lincoln and I were running errands this morning. A lady commented that Lincoln looked like a mommy's boy. Then she proceeded to ask if he was a mommy's boy or a daddy's boy. How am I supposed to answer that question?? In my mind I was thinking, "Well, his dad is dead, so I guess he doesn't really have a choice." Instead of taking it out on her, I just chose not to answer the question.

At this point, I admit that I'm a bit bitter about all that has happened. I guess if I stayed where I am now, I could turn into a hard, bitter lady. That's not who I want to be, and I don't think that is who I am even now. Through all of this, I have tried to allow myself times of sorrow, but I have also made an effort to not be sad all of the time.

The past few weeks have been really hard. They haven't been as difficult as the days surrounding Keith's death, but they would probably take second place. I was told by another widow that the 4th or 5th month tends to be very difficult. My heart feels so heavy. I just can't seem to shake it. I know it is a good thing. I need to deal with my grief, but it sure isn't pleasant. It is also a bit discouraging to feel worse now than I did a few months ago. Another widow pointed me toward a website that was very helpful. www.youngwidow.com It has boards where people can post comments, and it is even divided into a timeline. (1-6 months, 6-12 months, etc.)