I've been reading a book by Philip Yancey called Disappointment with God. For those of you who didn't know Keith, he was a big reader. This is one of several books that we have by this author on our bookshelf. I felt like the title capured my feelings, so I decided to give it a try.

The book discusses three questions that people who are hurting often ask- "Is God Unfair? Is God Silent? Is God Hidden?" I'm about half way through the book. It has definitely made me think. Yancey spends time looking at the old testament. It's funny how we think if God would do ______, then I would believe in Him or my faith would be stronger. When you look at the bible, you see that God did many of the things we long for, yet the results were not staggering.

One thing that I've struggled with a bit is the fact that God didn't heal Keith. I know He could have, but He chose not to. I've found myself thinking, "If You would have healed Keith, we would have given You all the glory." I've come to realize that maybe God is being glorified more in Keith's death. It would have been easy for us to have a strong faith if Keith was healed. I think the fact that our families still remain faithful despite the fact that God didn't heal Keith has brought much glory to God. I also know that all of this has changed my perspective on my life here on earth. My desire for Jesus to come and take us home has never been stronger. I long for the days when there will be no more tears or pain.