I've written before about things that people have said that weren't helpful. Today's post is along the same lines. Today I want to write about how I WISH people would respond when they find out that my husband has passed away.

Let me start by saying that I don't share this news with everyone. Even today I find myself deliberating whether or not to tell people. Often when I'm talking with someone new, I find two questions racing around in my head-"Do I tell them? Do I not tell them?" It's not that I mind talking about it. It's just that I know what will come after I break the news. I just can't stand the look of sadness that comes across the person's face and the awkward silence that follows. I know why it happens. No one is expecting to hear that news. And so I'm faced with the task of trying to assure the person that it's okay, which hasn't always been an easy task-especially in the months surrounding Keith's death.

How do I wish people would react? Honestly, I wish people would say they are sorry and then move on to another topic. I realize this is easier said than done. I'm not exactly sure what you should bring up after that kind of news. "How's the weather?" or "Where did you get your shoes?" sound a bit insensitive. I guess it would be easier for me to tell you what to avoid rather than what to do.
-It's probably best if you don't ask a ton of questions. Just because I share my news doesn't mean that I want to have a lengthy discussion about it. In the beginning, I could barely tell someone that my husband passed away without tearing up. I realize that you might be curious. (I'm a bit nosey myself.) Chances are if I've shared with you, it will probably come up again in conversation.
-It's fine to tell someone you're sorry, but you don't have to say it over and over again. I can remember one particular conversation when I was talking to a man from church. When he put two and two together and realized who I was, he just couldn't stop saying how sorry he was. He went on to say how hard it must be for me. . . By the end of the conversation I was in tears. I wanted to tell him that I was fine until he started talking, but I bit my tongue instead.

ON ANOTHER SUBJECT
In case you are wondering, we are going to stay and face the storm. At this point, I don't think we could get away if we wanted to. We've got water and food. Unless things change, the hurricane is supposed to hit during the early hours of the morning. We will probably be sleeping in the hallway. That should be an adventure!