4 hours there + 4 hours back = lots of thinking time

I've been meaning to write a post about the two year mark for quite some time, but I've been avoiding it like the plague. While I wish that I could just wrap the past two years up and tie a neat little bow around it, it's just not that simple. This past weekend, I got together with my college friends. I got to spend some time with my favorite girls, and I also got to spend 8 hours alone in the car.

If I am honest about where I am today, I would say that I'm pretty discouraged. The past three years haven't been real fun. I've tried to do my best to have a good attitude. I've tried to make the best of things. Frankly, I'm worn out. It seems like everytime I manage to jump over a hurdle, another one is waiting. I've gone from having a sick husband, to burrying a husband, to learning to live without my best friend, to being a single parent, to having a really tough class this year. I realize that my challenges all hinge on one thing, which is Keith's death. I guess I just wonder when it's not going to be so hard.

There's a song by Natalie Grant that sums up how I feel these days.

Our Hope Endures

You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?

Or joy at a good man's wake?

Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked

With illness, oh how can she laugh?

Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone

And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

I realize this isn't the most uplifting post, but it's where I'm at these days. As hard as this is, I still have hope. I was reminded again of that hope at Easter. Regardless of whether or not things get easier here on earth, one day things will be great!