(Sorry for the lack of paragraphs. Blogger is choosing to be difficult this morning)

The "D" Word

It's been a while since I've posted about what is going on in my life. Today I'm going to talk about the "d" word. Though this word is not a cuss word, it feels like it should be. Honestly, it just doesn't seem right that on top of everything else I've been through, I have to I have to do this again too. I'm not sure if you've guessed correctly or not, but the "d" word is. . . dating.

I haven't written much about this subject because it's awkward to talk about. Well, that and the fact that there really hasn't been much to say. I e-mailed/talked to a guy for a few months (around the one year mark) and I went on two dates with another guy (in February). Not exactly groundbreaking news. But, it's a start.

It's crazy to be in this place again. It's not that it feels wrong. It's just weird. There have been times when I've felt like a silly school girl. There have been times when I've sat and analyzed conversations for far too long. I will say that I feel more secure in who I am this time around. I think we have a tendency to turn ourselves into what the other person wants when we're dating. I have no desire to do that this time. I think a lot of that has to do with having been married, and realizing what a bad idea that really is.

While I would have been okay with a relationship developing sooner, I'm just now at a place where I'm ready to pursue a relationship. I quickly realized that my options are, well, nonexistent. There is no one at school, and there is no one at church. So, I decided to give online dating a try. I will admit that I was very relunctant to do this. I kinda had this idea in my head that the online thing is for desperate people, and I am not desperate by any means. My friends all said that is not the case. I'm choosing to look at it as a networking tool. I guess I've been on for about a month. It's been an intersting experience for sure.

I can't end this post without sharing a funny story about my first date. As I was waiting for the guy to pick me up, I decided that I wanted to switch purses. So moments before he arrived, I was standing over the garbage can shaking goldfish crackers out of my purse. Oh, how life has changed since I did this the first time around.

*Disclaimer*

I did not write this because I'm looking for dates. I wrote this post because I've decided to write about my journey. If you feel that you just have to tell me about some great guy, please just send me an e-mail. I think you can find my e-mail address if you click on my profile.