If I had to use one word to describe the way I have been feeling the past few months, it would be . . . discouraged.

The three year mark hit pretty hard. At this point, I find myself struggling with trusting God's plan. I sit and watch other young families thrive and grow and wonder if he has forgotten about us. I hate that it is just the two of us, and so I feel discouraged.

Lincoln has been a bit of a handful lately. While I love being a mom, I will tell you that doing this on my own isn't easy. It is so hard to come home from a long day at work and find out that he has been misbehaving at school. When he has a bad attitude or he is disobedient it is always me that must handle it. It is always me that must come up with consequences. It. is. always. me. While I know that it is perfectly normal for kids to go through difficult phases, part of me takes it personally. I can't help but doubt myself as a mom, and so I feel discouraged.

School has worn me out as well. This has been a year of transition. I knew going into it that this year would be a challenge. I don't regret changing grade levels, but it has been a lot of work. The other prek teacher I work with is phenomenal. She is one of those teachers who goes above and beyond every single day. I've struggled with feeling like a slacker this year. I try to remind myself that she is in a different place in life with all of her kids grown. When I come home at night, I can't do hours of work. I have a little boy who needs his mom's attention. My head knows this, but my heart is a different story.

The good news is that it is spring. Warm, sunny weather makes everything better! And there's also a big birthday party coming up. You'll have to wait and see what this year's theme is. I will tell you that I am going to be the paper mache queen when all is said and done! : )